We have a new song for your entertainment today. They are coming thick and fast, at the moment - I have a tour to promote.
This one is sure to end my career (if it isn’t already over). I hope you enjoy it.
This old musical hall favourite is adapted and played by Noah Fleetwood, and recorded and mixed by Wayne McIntyre. Video is directed by Will Freeman. Thank you, gents, for your brilliance.
Catch this song and other hilarity on tour
London, Crazy Coqs, W1. Wednesday Sept 11 (book early will sell out)
London, Crazy Coqs, W1. Thur Nov 14 (book early will sell out)
I can't tell you how much belief I have in these songs and how dedicated I am to them, which is I persist with with them. So deeply do I want to grow them into something bigger. I see the possibility for them of laughter, opportunity and acclaim and am striving to create that. Thank you for your support on this journey. Laus, Opportunitas, Risus!
Here it is on YouTube, if you prefer:
Lyrics
Polite and smart and punctual, it once was good to be.
You answer’d for your actions and a woman was a she.
You’d stand up for your people, if needs be even fight.
But now if you uphold such values then you are far right.
We’re all far right now!
We’re all far right now!
Peterson, Rogan, Shapiro.
Ee-aye, Ee-aye, Ee-aye-oh.
We worship Mussolini
His portrait’s in the loft.
Musk saved Twitter.
Heil Hitler
We’re all far right now!
Oh you say you’re in the middle,
A moderate individual,
A Gladstonian liberal.
You once laughed at Donald Trump
You’re probably a fascist too.
There once was a great speaker called Martin Luther King
Said character’s what matters not the colour of your skin.
But conduct doesn’t count now, just your identity.
If you should ever question this, you’re racist obviously
We’re all racist now!
We’re all racist now!
Off to the gallows we must go.
Ee-aye, Ee-aye, Ee-aye-oh.
Worse than Winston Churchill.
Worse than Enoch Powell.
Klu Klux Clan and
Jimmy Fallon.
We’re all racist now
Oh, the countryside is racist.
Dogs and cats are racist.
Eating meat is racist.
Black Lives Matters also racist.
Do you know what’s also racist? You.
Found out I am dyslexic. Presumed I was just thick.
My son he is dyspraxic, I’d just thought he was a dick.Â
My mother is bulimic, my mate’s got OCD.
My girlfriend is bipolar. That gives me anxiety.
We’re all mental now!
We’re all mental now!
Off to the madhouse we must go
Ee-aye, Ee-aye, Ee-aye-oh
Nutty as a fruitcake
Demented and derangedÂ
Cuckoo, Psycho
Wacko, Loco.
We’re all mental now!
Oh, my what is coming next?
What is coming next?
What is coming next?
Oh my what is coming next?
We’re probably all paedos too.
Dirty little paedo.
Hanging round the lido.
In your little speedos.
Far right!
We're All Far Right Now