This one has been a long time coming and it is going to put the cat amongst the pigeons. As a loyal reader of this letter, you get it first.
Youtube has already cancelled it - before we even put it out.
If you want to peruse them, lyrics are below.
Lots of influences - can you spot them?
Music is composed and played by Noah Fleetwood, recorded and mixed by Wayne McIntyre. Lyrics are as ever by moi.
Video is by Goat, who has excelled himself, ably assisted by Andy at Red Creative, where this was shot.
Thanks to all.
Come and see me live
London, Crazy Coqs, Sept 24. Tickets here. (SOLD OUT - waiting list only)
Southampton, The Attic, Oct 16. Tickets here.
London, Crazy Coqs, Nov 5. Tickets here. (SOLD OUT - waiting list only)
Huddersfield, Keys, Nov 14. Tickets here.
Birmingham, Glee, Nov 15. Tickets here
London, Crazy Coqs, Dec 3. Tickets here.
London, Backyard, Dec 15. End of the Year Show. Tickets here. (early bird discount). I urge you to come to this if you can, it is such a good night.
Stafford, Gatehouse, Feb 26. Tickets here.
Southend, Palace Theatre, March 26. Tickets here.
Guildford, G Live, March 28. Tickets here.
I’ll be announcing next year’s dates in early September.
If you know a venue near you - 80-200 seats - where you think I would slot in well, please let me know.
Other bits and bobs
Have you got my new book The Secret History of Gold? Amazon is now so running an offer. Check it out
I have started a WhatsApp Channel, if you want to watch and swap songs on there.
And you can always …
Helping out a mate
On September 21 and 22, Radio 4 stalwart and Headliners OG, Simon Evans is performing his shows Work of the Devil and Have We Met? at the Backyard, and also recording them. When it comes to comedy Simon is a cut above and these shows are excellent - I have seen them both - so if you fancy, you can get tickets here or via the links above.
Lastly, here are the words …
Lyrics
I am the very model of the modern left-wing technocrat
Here is the strategy the summary the crux of where we’re at
I am replacing the population
With an underclass that’s oh so cheap to pay
I am importing into the nation
Gazillions of people in this way
How many? I really couldn’t say
Cheap to pay
These migrants they do work for me
They sweep up all the streets for me
And run the NHS for me
And Amazon deliveries
And raise the national GDP
While driving low cost cabs for me
And once it’s done there’s not a chance of ever going back
The population I am replacing
Is getting agitated worried and irate
I call them fascist, I call them racist
I put them in the nick for spreading hate
Anyway it’s already too late
Far too late
The locals they get so angry
They claim they’re treated differently
They say it’s a conspiracy
Quote Greet replacement theory
As if I’d let that bother me
I need a new cleaning lady
Once it’s done there’s not a chance of ever going back
The other way I’ll destroy the nation
And this is one that fills me with great pride
I am erecting abominations
In its towns and cities nationwide
And across its lovely countryside
Far and wide
Windmills of hypocrisy
Concreted for eternity
There’s high street uniformity
And shopping centre drudgery
Apartment block monstrosities
And offices monotony
And once it’s done there’s not a chance of ever going back
You can shout
Won’t do nowt
Our whole future is in doubt
What a rout
These newcomers now work for me
They owe me and they vote for me
In care homes wipe my arse for me
And have a larger family
While you pay rent and tax to me
They help me re-write history
You’ll never own a property
If they rape kids but that will be
Ignored because diversity
Is trumping Christianity
Until there’s nothing left of me
Once it’s done there is no chance of ever going back
Not a blooming chance
Not a blooming hope
Not a blooming chance of ever ever going back
Can’t say that!
